Yesterday I read about a lady's struggle with self confidence and self esteem issues and I decided to write something about it because I could relate to a fair extent.

I'm pretty sure some of us have had issues with our self confidence before. I did in my teenage years and thanks to my family who helped in restoring my self confidence. But before I begin, let's know what self confidence/esteem means.


Self-esteem refers to how you feel about yourself overall, how much esteem, positive regard or self-love you have. Self-esteem develops from experiences and situations that have shaped how you view yourself today.




Self-confidence is how you feel about your abilities and can vary from situation to situation. I may have healthy self-esteem, but low confidence about situations involving math (this is true). For instance, once I see a math problem I become brain dead.lol. Numbers scare me and it kills my self confidence. My self confidence usually declined during math class but it was always at its peak in Literature class.

When you love yourself, your self-esteem improves, which makes you more confident. When you are confident in areas of your life, you begin to increase your overall sense of esteem. You can work on both at the same time.

So we can now see the similarities between self confidence and self esteem. They go hand in hand. For me, my physical appearance caused my lack of self confidence. I became very cautious about my appearance from age 14-18. I was often teased by friends and classmates about having "k-legs"(knock knees) and this made me create a shell which I always hid in. I confided in my siblings and they told me I shouldn't listen to what anybody says about my legs. I'm not disabled and God loves me the way I am. They really said a lot to boost my self confidence and in the long run it helped.

Let me state it here and now. If anyone tries to bring you down because of a physical attribute on your body, its because they're trying to feel good about themselves (most of the time).



I began to love my legs and embrace myself for who I am. I learnt proper posture and what to wear and what not to. I'm not alone in this "k-leg world". Mariah Carey, Katherine Heigl, Juliet Ibrahim and a host of so many other celebrities have k-legs(Google "knock knees" for more info). Overall, I came to realize that how you present yourself matters a lot.


Jennifer Hudson is just one out of many celebrities with knock knees.


Wear a smile on your face,always. If you're beautifully dressed and you have no smile on, its as good as nothing. When you smile it radiates self confidence. Tell yourself you're beautiful and wonderfully made. Everyone has flaws and nobody is perfect. Learn how to embrace your flaws. Once you make your flaws pronounced, others would notice them. When you begin to love yourself, you attract positive energy towards you and no amount of hatred and spite can weigh you down.