Hey y'all! Welcome to a new month. Time indeed waits for nobody oh! It feels like my birthday was just last week and now we're in March. Anyhow, we thank God for his grace and mercies.

Today, I'm writing about burials. I'm not a fan of attending burials (who is??) and I've only attended 3 funerals in my existence. One would expect that burials should really be sad and low key events as it's normally meant to be. But the reverse is the case here in Nigeria or is it the whole of Africa?

I understand that we have certain traditions and customs in Nigeria that are ascribed to burial ceremonies and I'm one who respects tradition. But I also have a lot of questions that have bothered me over time as regards our burial customs.

We all pray to live long and happy lives, surrounded by family, friends and loved ones who will give us memories to forever cherish. But some times, life goes the other way and we become lonely and unfortunately, forgotten by those we hold dear. This is what happens to some of our relatives back in our hometowns/villages. Life has so much evolved that we have less time to spend with them, grandmas and grandpas,uncles and aunties alike. Some of them don't even live in the villages anymore like before. We're now a more "civilized" people.

The inevitable then happens. One of these relatives passes on and obviously would have to be buried. At this time, all the family members rally round and try to give this person a "befitting" burial. There's nothing wrong in giving an elderly person of 70 years and above a grand and proper burial but so many questions come to mind.

First, how many birthdays did you celebrate with this relative when he or she was alive? How many times did you even call to ask about their well being? If an illness caused his/her death, how much effort and resources did you invest in making sure they got better? In short, did you really care for this person? Did we give them a memorable experience in their lifetime especially towards the endpoint of their lives?

Then we come out in our finest clothes, kill the fattest cows, invite dignitaries and "big men" to this relative's burial. There is laughter and merriment. We call it "Celebration of Life".

There is nothing wrong in celebrating the lifetime and achievements of this person. But when we make it seem like a fun fare with lots of food and entertainment, it bothers me. To me, it looks like a display of wealth and influence. It seems like an extravaganza.



I'm not suggesting that we come out wailing and weeping. All I'm saying is it's better to celebrate a person while they're still alive to see you and appreciate you. We shouldn't wait to celebrate and appreciate people only in death. Invest in people's lives and not their deaths.

xo, Evita.



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