Time changes everything, sometimes for good, other times for not so good. The government and the society, especially the society have made things difficult for the average Nigerian man/woman.

Up till the early 1970s, a secondary school leaver was sure of a job, clerical most of the time. The Multinational companies, Banks and the Government Agencies sought these fresh, young and impressionable men and women to begin careers that progressed steadily, especially for the hardworking and ambitious ones. A great number of Chief executives of these organizations rose through the ranks. They improved on their academic status through in-service trainings, correspondence courses and professional examinations. Those who had eyes for tertiary education chose to pick up a profession in teaching.

While working, some of these young men got married. The marriage ceremony devoid of glamour(no #bellanaijawedding or #Nigerianwedding) and family life began on humble and gentle notes. The ambition for further education was not thwarted in most cases by this arrangement, as wives then were not "liberated". They kept a low profile while the husband proceeded for higher education. This did not necessarily require the wives to be full time house wives though, they also picked up professions in teaching and some became seamstresses. The man then returns after three years to meet a growing family. Parents were willing to assist in the upkeep and upbringing of their grandchildren. There were jobs for the asking. So at the age of 30 or thereabout, these men were already fully settled. The development of the family was then a matter of the preferences and capabilities of man and wife. Society and social media had no say in your major life decisions. That was the "old school."

Today, the picture is obviously very different. The approach and strategy to living has changed dramatically. It is now school, work then family in that strict order. Children are triggered to school at a very tender age, so as to get off quickly to commence the rat race. We're being taught from this early years that life is a "competition". A child will be deemed lucky to get off the hooks of WAEC at 16, or even more recently, 14 or 15(mine was at 17) and then the battle with JAMB begins( thank God I wasn't jammed by JAMB) If further luck (God's grace I'd say) and appropriate "connection" for those who had access to it continue to prevail, higher education may commence at age 19(thank God again, mine was at 18) A four year programme should be concluded on his or her 23rd birthday (mine was a few months after my 22nd birthday) The compulsory one year National Youth Service brings you into the labor market at age 25 (24 for me) All things being equal, this should be a good picture right? But how many are this favoured or some would say, lucky?

The typical scenario sees young adults escaping the onslaught of WAEC and NECO at the age of 18 or 19 after 2 attempts. Because their mind is keyed that they must go into the university first before they begin to live their life, they seek no alternative but to sweat it out with JAMB and the Post UTME examination, for as long as it would take, using all available resources, legitimate and illegitimate. This struggle may take another additional two or three years. At the age of 22 or 23, undergraduate studies may begin. It is expected to last between four to six years, depending on the course of study. Don't forget to include ASUU strikes for those in the government owned universities(I experienced this) On the average, a great number do eventually graduate when they are almost 30 years old. They try by all means to remain in this age bracket to be eligible for the one year National Youth Service. That may be the first time they will earn an income, if it were possible some would like to extend the service period for fear of the labor market.

The battle within this market is as fierce if not fiercer than "Operation Desert Storm". Did you make a second class upper or above? Are you below 28?(sometimes 25) Do you have 5 years working experience? Do you possess additional professional certificates? The questions are endless. But you need the big job, and it must be in the bank, telecommunications, oil and gas, aviation, multinational companies, or no other. These are the only places that pay fat wages. And you must "belong". So the waiting can be as long as another 3 years.Eventually, life begins at about age 34 for most of these adults. For the typical man in Lagos, Abuja or Port Harcourt, his priority is to "stabilize", meaning he has to get a flat and furnish it accordingly, a car, enough clothing and enjoy life fully, a little. Then from the age of 38-40 he will begin to think of settling down. The ceremony must be up to "standard". Who set this standard anyway? Society. The urge to fit into society sets in. So he must by all means hustle to have that "standard" wedding. So a man begins to make his family at the age of 41 or thereabout. How long will he work to be able to carry his own children this far like his father did to him? The same fate befalls the woman too and society does not take it easy on us. At age 24, people and sometimes family, start asking you questions like "So when are we seeing him na? When are we buying your asoebi? I want to eat your rice o!" (Biko goan cook rice in your house.*side eyes*)lol!

What am I saying? Live your life and ignore society. Who's society anyway? When you struggled through school was this society there for you? So why allow society put pressure on you when its time to make your life decisions? Acquire a skill or two so if you find yourself unable to get employed,you can become your own boss. Even when you're employed, you can also have your own business alongside. Hustle! If you're comfortable enough, plan a small wedding and get married. Start your life. You must not necessarily invite the whole world to your wedding, of which most of your guests might be your parent's friends. Most of the people who will buy your asoebi don't even have good intentions towards you. Why not dare to be different? Reconsider the old school approach, maybe differently. After all, with God all things are possible. Good parents will definitely support you and God's blessings will never depart such ambitious children.

You get more attention when you are not like the rest. Those who are afraid to die are not living either, and playing safe always is no fun. The fear of uncertainty is foolish because uncertainty is certain.