First of all, let me apologize for not posting consistently this month. I don't want blogging to feel like a chore so I write when inspired to. Please bear with me. I promise to be more consistent. That settled, Christmas is coming oo! Can you feel it in the air?! Yes, I can and I'm just excited for no particular reason. I'm just happy about a lot of things. And I'm especially grateful for life, family and good friends.

So, the topic. Yes! Let's talk about sex. If you know Salt 'n' Pepa then you should know this song, "Let's talk about sex" and my favorite line in it is, " Don't decoy, avoid or make void the topic coz that ain't gonna stop it..." And I'm not here to talk about what it is you think I want to talk about. Whatever that is.

Growing up in an average Nigerian home, sex was something that was never talked about. You know there's something called sex and have an idea what its about but there's no talking about it. Like our parents just assumed we knew and it's something that's forbidden. But being an inquisitive being, I expanded my knowledge about sex by reading books and of course, talking with my peers. I guess this must have been the case with most of us.

When we were taught "The Reproductive System" in secondary school, you could feel the excitement in the classroom, the glee was obvious in our eyes. It was an interesting topic and nobody failed the test on this topic.lol. It was clear we knew what it was all about.



You see, we live in a highly sexualized world. TV shows, adverts, movies, music, clothing and even cartoons are now sexualized. The internet is readily available to dish out every information that there is on sex and our younger ones are being exposed to all these. What do we do? It's time we talk about it.

Of course it'll seem really awkward talking to a teenager about sex but its best they hear it from you (parents, siblings, uncle, aunt, cousin) than from a "friend" or via the internet. Its not something we should be quiet about anymore. Remember the series " I need to Know"? Where Funke Akindele's character was Bisi. Remember how close she was to her mum and how she used to tell her things about sex and give her advice about waiting for the right time. We need more parents and adults like Bisi's mum. Be your child's best friend and be free to talk to them about sex and what it entails.

Research has shown that young people/teenagers want to talk about sexual health with their parents. Many parents are however unsure and uncomfortable about having these conversations and where to start from, but avoiding the subject will not stop their children from having sex or keep them safe. It has also been proven by research that talking to teens about sex does not encourage them to experiment sexually. It goes a long way to prevent unwanted pregnancy, abortions and STDs and these teens are more likely to delay their first sexual experience.



We have to break free from that mentality that things such as sex shouldn't be talked about. It only makes things worse and exposes our young ones to numerous dangerous. Talk to them, be honest, be free. I'm sure if more adults talked about sex to teenagers, there would be less unwanted pregnancies, abortions which can lead to death and STDs.

Have yourselves a lovely and stress free week ahead and compliments of the season to you and your families. May the joy of this season continue to abide with us.

xo, Evita.

Hello everyone! It's been a minute. Hope everything is well with you and yours? Well, on this side, I thank God for life. Everyday above the ground is a good day isn't it? So, today, I'm going to talk(write) about one of my favorite author and mentor, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I'm sure most of you are familiar with the name and know a little bit about her. If you don't, let me give you a brief introduction.

Chimamanda was born in Enugu, Nigeria, in the late 1970s and was raised in Nsukka. Her parents worked in the University of Nigeria, Nsukka and she's the fifth of six children.
When she was 19, she left Nigeria on a scholarship to Drexel University in Philadelphia. She studied communication at Drexel and earned a degree in communication and political science at Eastern Connecticut State University. She graduated summa cum laude in 2001. Later that year, she began MFA courses in literature at Johns Hopkins University.

Now you have a slight idea of who she is and where she comes from. There are a lot of things I admire or love about Chimamanda as a writer. When I read her first book, "Purple Hibiscus", I was still in secondary school at the time and I thought to myself, "who's this fearless woman that's so bold to tell such a story?" And of course I wanted to read more stories from her which I did over time.

I could go on to list a whole lot of things I love about Chimamanda but I compressed them for the sake of this post so I don't get to bore you.
So, here are the 5 things I love about Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

1.) She gives very detailed descriptions in her stories; If you've read any of her books you should be able to attest to this. Chimamanda is exceptionally good at describing places and her characters. I've never been to Nsukka but she made me feel like I was in Nsukka with the way she gave vivid descriptions about it in "Purple Hibiscus" and "Americanah". The same way she also described places in the USA like Philadelphia and Brooklyn. In my mind I've been to all these places.lol!



2.) She uses very rare Igbo names for her characters and she chips in a little bit of Igbo vocabulary here and there; It was Chimamanda that made me know there were Igbo names such as Ranyinudo, Anikwenwa, Nwamgba, Obierika and a few others. She shows that she's very conversant with her Igbo roots despite her schooling in the US and she's proud of her people.



3.) She's very passionate about gender especially females. Her female characters are very outspoken and question what is deemed normal; her lead character in "Americanah", Ifemelu is one of such.



Chimamanda encourages the typical African girl child to be outspoken and say things as they are without being afraid of being judged by others. And this is something I totally agree with.



4.) She's a "naturalista". Meaning she's carrying her God given natural African hair with all its kinks and curls; she decided to cut off her permed hair when she got to the US and needed a perm but it was quite expensive getting it done in the saloon. Therefore, she got a relaxer kit and did the perm herself at home. She ended up with burns on her scalp and then she questioned herself regarding the essence of getting a perm and going through all the unnecessary pain. So she did the big chop and started growing her natural hair.



5.) I admire her sense of style. She wears a lot of African prints and she makes it look so elegant and chic.







There you have it! Those are the five major things I love about Chimamanda. I hope to be a good writer like her some day and I urge you to pick up any book of hers and read. My favorites are "Americanah", "The Thing Around Your Neck" and "Purple Hibiscus".

So, any thoughts on Chimamanda? Have you read any of her books and what did you like or dislike most about it? Let me know in the comments section below. Until my next post, stay well and happy.

xo, Evita.

Hey lovely people! Long time right? Well, I've been MIA (missing in action) for some reasons but I'm back now. Life really has a way of handing you some serious lemons but I've decided to make the sweetest lemonade out of mine. So, how have you been? Hope all is well and you're in good health.

Ok. On to the topic of the day. Age. How old are you? Lol! Most people dread that question especially ladies and I really don't blame them. In my opinion(I have lots of opinions abi?) I feel we should all be proud of how old we are but society has made it seem like a sin to age. Come on, we all want to be old and gray but we want to remain forever young. Remember Jay Z's song "Forever Young" featuring Mr Hudson? "I wanna be forever young..." I have to admit though, getting old is scary but its something that can't be evaded.




As a teenager I couldn't wait to be in my 20s. Now I'm in my 20s and I suddenly want to become a toddler again, not even a teenager. Let me be pampered and have no worries except sleeping, eating and playing. Haha! The demands of adulthood are so many but what can we do? You have to brace up and be an adult. Nobody cares anymore. You have to make things happen and I can sincerely tell you that being 20 something isn't so much fun. Expectations everywhere. But we're capable right? Yes, I'm capable.

You come across job vacancies and the age thing hits you again. "Candidate has to be 24-28..." Can we really blame those who celebrate their 26th birthday in 4 consecutive years? So if I'm 29 I won't be able to get the job done? That's age discrimination if you ask me.




A lot of ladies are in the habit of hiding their real age. When asked how old they are especially by a guy, some tend to pick offense or lie about it. Is it such a big deal? It doesn't make you less or more of a person. Does it? Does lying about it change the fact that you're still aging? Lol. Mind over matter. You shouldn't be judged by your age.

There's no manual that says at 21 you should be doing this and not that. I don't mean you should be nonchalant about issues just because you're 20 something, but once you have a sense of responsibility all else would flow.

Being "forever young" is all in your mind. It is a state of mind and not a state of being. After all, we all want to grow old and by God's grace we will not only age but age gracefully. As for me being asked my age, I'll gladly tell you because it's not a big deal.