Strict Parents, Curfews and Dress codes
1:06:00 amOne of the most challenging things 70% of young adults experience in Nigeria is having to live with their parents after graduating from the university and completion of the NYSC. Getting a house isn't something one can just jump into because it is an expensive venture. This means you have to kick off your career under your parents' roof, further your studies(where applicable) and eventually get married then move to your matrimonial home. Cohabiting isn't encouraged in the least bit...don't even think about it. So this means you're stuck with your parents for the most part of your twenties.
Being female makes it worse then having strict parents makes it even worst. If care isn't taken, your social life will be almost non existent. Personally, I've had to deal with issues ranging from curfews, my choice of clothing and lifestyle with my parents, especially my mum. We've had our moments and along the line, I've come up with some coping mechanisms which I'll be sharing with you.
- Negotiate your curfew; As an adult (21 and above), you should be able to discuss your curfew with your parents. Make sure you have valid points and if possible, a PowerPoint presentation(I kid) to drive home your point. Remember to speak like the adult that you are, this way they tend to listen more and see reasons with you. If possible, have an older sibling to chip in a word or 2 for you.
- Call before you're called; If you know you're going to be caught out past your curfew, call them ahead of time. It's better when you call and explain your situation than allow them call and possibly yell at you over the phone...which equals to more yelling when you get home.
- Dress accordingly; Get ready to ditch some clothes you brought home from uni and NYSC or find more 'appropriate' ways to wear them. What you consider as decent may just be the very opposite to your parents. Remember what happened to me here.
- Blame it on the traffic; Especially for those living in Lagos, traffic is the best and reliable excuse. When you have absolutely no reason for staying out late, traffic is always there for you.
- Just Chill; When you cannot be bothered and have absolutely nothing to worry about, just chill. You know you'll be late but what could possibly happen when you get home? What's life without risks?
Risk getting slapped and told the story of your life.
- Forget about nightlife; No such thing as sleepovers, clubbing and the rest of it. It doesn't exist in your world.
It quite sad and humiliating dealing with these issues because think of it, you were away at university for years without any supervision and you came back home alive and whole. So why can't you be trusted to take care of yourself now that you're older and more mature?
Truth is, parents will forever be parents and it's their duty to brood over you(especially last borns like me) Your safety is their priority. Thankfully, my dad is the liberal one so he's there to balance the strictness. Sometimes I wonder how people with both parents who are strict cope with these things.
If you're still living with your parents, how do you cope with the curfews and all? And if you're married now, how did you deal before you moved into your own home? Please feel free to share. I hope you're having a good week so far.
Stay happy and well,
Evita,xx
evee_evita
5 comments
Nice article and for me, I think most parents are like that in Africa. They want to co from you from the time you were born till you move out to be on your own.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, its love and genuine need to protect their kids, but sometimes its annoying and frustrating.
Kids will always be kids, even when you try to control them. When they get outside to with their friends, they do what they want.
Nice tips girl and happy new year.
Brendascouch.com
They want to control you from the time you were born*****
DeleteHi Brenda. You said it all. The kids still go out and do what they want. Like I read somewhere; strict parents breed the sneakiest kids. Lol! Thanks for your comment.
DeleteI love this post because it's so me. The title drew me in. My parents are disciplinarians so I can definitely relate. My mum being a typical African mother doesn't like the going out affair and I'm pretty sure this has a lot to do with me subconsciously preferring staying indoors. I'm not yet operating at the curfew level because I'm still an undergraduate and I just don't see it happening. Lol. I definitely don't intend to move to my husband's house straight from my parents house. I want to live alone and enjoy my privacy before then. Hopefully work would provide that opportunity. Lol. Enjoyed reading this. xx
ReplyDeleteLIFE| HELLO 2017
Www.laitanbee.com
Hey Olaa! I was just smiling while reading your comment. My situation was similar to yours when I was an undergrad but I wasn't so bothered then coz I enjoyed staying indoors. Like you, I prayed to get a job that would require me getting my own place but no luck with that yet.lol! Hope it works out for you though. Thanks for stopping by.😊
Delete